We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
