That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
