I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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