I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
