It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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