haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
