I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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