Where are you?
In a non slutty way
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
