Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
