your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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