I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
