no, he came in my armpit
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
