hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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