Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
