i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize