you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
