There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
