Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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