I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
