It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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