this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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