fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize