I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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