I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
