i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize