VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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