I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
me + whiskey = a bad person
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
