If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
