There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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