I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
