I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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