dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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