He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
