he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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