I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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