My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
