I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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