i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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