ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
