why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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