I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
