I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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