i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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