i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
