well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
