and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
