Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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