How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
