my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
its not stalking. its research.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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