what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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