Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
