Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
