Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize