And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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