She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
