You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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