At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
