I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
