the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
