He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
