oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
