Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
